HHow many New Year’s resolutions have you made in your life? How many have you successfully accomplished? The estimate is that less than 10% of New Year’s resolutions are actually achieved and chances of achieving these resolutions decrease as we get older.
So, why is this?
First, let us begin by thinking about what you should be doing all year long. Real goals do not start on New Year’s. Real goals are with us everyday and they start with our internal NEEDS and not what others expect we should do. Ask, what is gong to make you happy.
Making resolutions work involves changing behaviors — and in order to change a behavior, we have to rewire our thinking. Brain scientists and psychotherapist have discovered that habitual behavior is created by thinking patterns that create neural pathways and memories, which become the default basis for our behavior when we are faced with a choice or decision. Change requires creating new neural pathways from new thinking.
Resolutions seldom work because more often than not, they include making changes to behavior and objects that exist outside of us. Until we change what’s on the inside, we cannot change what’s on the outside. Eventually, we will go back to making the same choices, whether consciously or unconsciously. “When you squeeze an orange you get orange juice because that’s what’s inside of you.”
The best (and some would say the only) way to get a large and long-term behavior change is by changing our self-story. Everyone has stories about themselves that drive their behavior. You have a “story” operating about yourself at all times. These self-stories have a powerful influence on decisions and actions, good or bad.
If there’s anger, fear, low self-worth, jealousy, resentment, or other negative beliefs inside of us, even if we attempt to change the skin to our fruit, shine and polish it, or plant and grow it in a different location, what comes out of will still be what’s on the inside.
A resolution will never create a lasting transformation if we don’t change the root and inside of our fruit (our mind and heart). Even the word itself, “resolution,” implies “a firm decision to do or not do something, to be absolutely resolute.” This allows no fluidity or flexibility.
Until we change what’s on the inside, we cannot change what’s on the outside.
Here are few tips experts believe can help bring everlasting transformation to our lives.
Meditation (well, of course)
Many of us hold unconscious, negative beliefs that we learned as children from our parents, grandparents, teachers, leaders, culture, or the media.
Meditation allows us to see and eliminate the root of our belief system and with time and practice help us transform our limited mindset to an infinite abundant mind set.
In my personal and humble opinion, no other practice can be as transformative as a daily meditation practice such as ours to bring an everlasting positive transformation.
Gratitude
Gratitude is the gateway to creating peace and happiness in our lives. It is the starting point to creating change. A grateful heart is a loving heart, which draws more love into our lives. When we keep our intentions as our focus and take action from a place of gratitude, we open ourselves up to the people and opportunities to bring us to the change and intentions we desire.
Accept
Change doesn’t come by berating, judging, and criticizing ourselves; it comes from lovingly accepting the things we cannot change, then turning inward, eliminating all accumulated useless pictures and growing each day to change the things we can. I recently came across a quote that I’d like to share: “Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being excited about what could go right.”
Believe
And lastly, believe in possibilities. Belief alone doesn’t make things happen, but magic unfolds in our lives when we believe in a possibility and work towards it.
Real change start when we change our perspective from “I will believe it when I see it” to “I will see what I believe”.
Wishing everyone a very happy 2024! Let’s meditate, be grateful, accept, and believe!
